A blog for reviews… that's really not much of a blog

Foreword: Alright guys, I want you to use your imagination today. Imagine a ridiculously long swimming pool: let’s say approximately 200 meters in length, and filled approximately 1.5 meters with something viscous, like honey. In addition, the pool itself is approximately 4 meters deep, so the only way out is to use a ladder, only located on the other side of the 200 meter pool.

Now let’s imagine how you are on the opposite side of that ladder, with the viscous honey up to your neck, being unable to even jump or swim across, as you pitifully wade your way across the pool in hopes of getting out.

Yeah, that’s really how I felt nowadays.
With two titles not even finished after two weeks because I’ve had so much going on, and then found the nostalgic feelings of a GBA emulator (huehuehue), it’s probably not going to do well with my Visual Novels, right?

….Then I have exams every week now OTL

(That aside, I’m about 70% done with AstralAir. Holy shit this game is so boring and so long. The true route BETTER be good or this game’s gonna be bashed to the ground. I also just finished my second round of Fureraba; that game is GODLY compared to these pieces of crap I’ve been getting)

Enough ranting. Let’s get to the review… which is another rant in itself.

Title: お兄ちゃん、右手の使用を禁止します! (Oni-chan, migite no shiyou wo kinshi shimasu!) [Lit. Trans: Older Brother, we forbid to use your right hand!]
Producers: Galette
Release Date: September 26, 2014
VNDB Link: https://vndb.org/v15344

Summary: Hiroto has a severe sister complex that even makes some of his friends think he’s maybe acting a bit overzealous. Despite this, his love for them is so great that he feels very saddened to be living away from them. However, he never forgets to give each and one of them his love, and do not hesitate when a car rushes to them.

Instead of a fatal injury, though, Hiroto ends up getting a small sprain and a bump on the head from rushing at the car. However, the others do not see this injury as minor; as he is excused from school, as well as the sisters he protected “prohibiting him from using this right hand”. Life with just one hand is rather inconvenient, so the siblings decide to take care of their dear older brother who saved their lives.

Story Length: Moderately Short (10 hours)
Complete Story Clearing Difficulty: Very Easy
Comments: Nothing much to say, except all the choices you really make is who to “ask to come over”. Harem Ending present. Any questions?

Character Design Rating: 1/10
Story Rating: 0/10
Game Quality: Low
Protagonist Rating: 1/10
Overall Rating: 1/10
Rating Comments: So, let me ask you a question: What’s a nukige supposed to do? It’s supposed to help you fap, right?

THEN MAKE THE GAME SOMETHING THAT I CAN FAP TO FOR FAWK’S SAKE!
Again with Yakimochi Stream, I picked this game up in hopes to deplete my tissue box, but NOOOOOOOO~ the game was all about blushed faces of imouto who goes from siblings to sex in literally a few days with absolutely no form of drama, planning, nor effort into creating the characters.

“Good Seiyuus”? Bitch please. If I don’t know them, they clearly haven’t played enough roles in a good game or they only voiced nukige. The only thing remotely good about them is their ability to moan in the H-scenes. (Wait, is this why they’re considered “good”?)

Sexual Content: Dominant. Sex scenes occur in the first hour like any other nukige, except the fact that no characters see this “incest” as taboo, one of my most hated traits of eroge.

Comments: Nope. Nope. Nope. Tsundere Imouto characters are something I’ve seen more than enough to last me a lifetime, and this game has two. The other two characters have designs and personalities that’s a turn-off in itself (Yuki and her excessive timidness, and Ayaka with her excessive assertiveness… if you really put the two together, they’re the opposite things, but there’s one common thing for both of them: it’s so unrealistic to the point it seems like  they’re actually a bitch).

Characters are completely ruined, and the company spent futile efforts and resources into making a game that falls significantly inferior to other games designed to be the same (e.g. Softhouse Seal games), and it’s not like the comedy for this game is good either. The only people who would probably play and enjoy this game are losers with a severe “imouto” fetish; it’s seriously that bad.

(Oh, and you can also be sure that the company got lazy if all they do is spell the character’s name in Hiragana.)
SERIOUSLY DOES IT KILL YOU TO JUST CREATE RANDOM KANJI FOR COMMON NAMES?!

Affection for the Characters: Low

CG Score: 0/10.
Music Score: 2/10

Conclusion: Nope. Nope. Nope.

Don’t even try this game; the concept is interesting, but there’s little to no follow-up on that concept; it’s just the imoutos to use it as an excuse to be with their “beloved brother”, and that’s really all there is to it: At least make the protagonist have some “events” on his own with his injured right hand. It’s adding salt to the wound none of the characters are appealing in the slightest since they’re all archetypical and their personalities oh-so-fake.

If they’re not even slightly realistic, how do you expect me to fap to them?

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Comments on: "Short Review of [140926]Onikin!" (9)

  1. The only thing that get my attention in this review is GBA simulation! I got to played a lot of games I didn’t know back then. Some are awesome but super-rare item in my country. What is your favorite? Mine is Castlevania and Dragonball adventure.
    About review… You really got bad luck picking games these days. Isn’t it better to watch H-anime at this rate? I mean seriously, It just like you have a passive skill: Shitty magnet that draw all shitty games toward you.
    AstralAir… Sad to say but I think Yuki route is one of the reason why I think ‘Err… if all problems gonna be solved so easily, what’s the point of all drama in the others 5 routes now…’ If you hate Deus Ex Machina, then you will hate this route.
    PS: After play more games and read all comments… maybe I should change my score for AA…
    PS2: Cleared Tenbin no La Dea 2.0! Celica is pretty much “God” in every aspect now with Lv.250. Of course nothing close compare to Verita. With Lv.500 and each hit deal 1M damage. If Tenbin Celica is “God” Then Verita Celica is “Godslayer”

    • Goddamnit, why must you remind me about how badass Celica is!? Now I’m having this weird lust for playing the 2.0 and I can’t because I have these games to finish and busy with irl crap D:

      Yeah, I find it weird how this review is more focused on emulators, but who can blame me for it when the game itself is ridiculous?

      ….And thank you for confirming my fear that I’ll absolutely hate AA. I’ve decided to simply blitz through the routes like I’ve been doing.

  2. To me, Yuki’s route was actually the worst part of AstralAir due to various reasons and “boringness” was only about 1/4 to blame, resulting in a horrible Sunday of memorable degree. If you already liked the awesome deus ex machina elements, get ready for some more kickass action in that department.

    As for the review, I rarely play nukige titles nowadays, but that sounds to surpass the horrors I imagined from playing the trial for like 5 minutes by a considerable level. I bid you my utmost respect for actually finishing this game.

    • Now you’re really scaring me for AstralAir. I’m having a rough time with this already and you’re saying it gets WORSE?!

      Maybe this’ll be a game that I drop in about 2 years, and I don’t want to end my “OCD-perfectionist-dumbass-who-tries-to-finish-all-games-for-no-fucking-reason-at-all” streak…

  3. wen2jia1wei3 said:

    O_o How surprising, Ive also gotten into GBA emulation recently. What surprised me the most was that pokemon games are tiny! How can a
    game like this be ONLY 16MB WTF.

    As for your review, it’s rare to you see bash a game so much, but it’s precisely because it’s rare that I trust your opinion. I cant believe it really sucked that much.

    Thanks for the update, and I hope you feel better.

    • Thanks for the support!
      Wait, what? Pokemon ROMs are only 16 MB?! WHAT THE FAK!? (Mind=Blown)

      Seriously, some of the mp3 tracks nowadays are freaking 5 mbs in size… technology is so weird…

      Yeah, I bash this game upon the basis that there’s little story/follow up on its themes, so as I stated in the review, doesn’t even come close to ever making me be able to “fap” to these heroines like I should

  4. Interesting! GBA, huh? That’s cool! I love GBA! What games are you playing?

    • Mostly Zelda, Fire Emblem, and Advance Wars series. They’re awesome

    • They certainly are! My favorite games in the GBA were the Summon Night spin-offs (which you might enjoy, because there are lots of Galge elements to it), Aria of Sorrow and, of course, the Megaman Zero series! I love it so much! It’s my favorite megaman series!

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