Foreword: Sometimes I just wonder… Why the living hell am I doing this to myself? It’s just so obvious what the results are going to be, but I end up still going through it anyways. I call myself an idiot for doing this and while that’s true to a certain extent, it’s just as sad that games are horrible to the point I can tell it’s shitty just by playing it for literally 5 minutes.
Just… don’t play this. Seriously, fucking don’t. I know we’ve all had good impressions on Parasol from this game but this game ruins everything. I’m laughing my ass off here at pure disgust at how different the two games are in quality. Like, even nukige has more story than this, and while I expected to be able to fap to my lolis, nope. That didn’t happen because I was so sick of all the bullshit that this game had to push on my face.
Parasol is one of the very few companies for which I’ve played all their released games. Trust me on this: This game is the worst one by far, evenmoreso than games like Koiimo (This game sucks just as much, but at least the characters are at least lovable).
More like, why the hell am I even writing a review for this?
P.S. The next review’s going to be a doujin “hentai” game, which I felt obligated to write a review for, because it was freaking amazing unlike this one. Gimme a fucking break, Japan: If Doujin Games are infinitely better than this cheap-ass nukige, it really says something.
This review contains INTENTIONAL spoilers because it’s really not worth playing by anyone, even the loli-loving fat-ass 30-year old weeaboos. If you want to fap to this be my guest. Just don’t play it for the story.
Please forgive me for being EXTREMELY vulgar and scarce with the information of this review. In reality, there’s nothing to write about except how bad it is.
Title: Quintuple Splash
Release Date: December 25, 2015
Game Type: Borderline Nukige/Charage with no story with themes of swimming
Summary: Sakiomi is a student at a formerly all-girl’s school that’s announced to be fused with another all-girl’s school. This new environment creates more friends, who are mostly girls now! His harem of lolis have just begun!
(Note: This is a highly-satirical criticism at the lack of proper setting design on behalf of the producers. Please do note that I was not being serious with this Summary)
Story Length: Moderately Short (thankfully)
Complete Story Clearing Difficulty: Easy
Comments: The Ctrl button will become your best-bud as you skip through the worthless repetitive scenes and H-scenes that ironically had the most effort put into them. There’s no story you’ll be missing, so if you’re the type of person who REALLY REALLY wants to fap to lolis, just get a savedata and enjoy. Otherwise, don’t even touch this game.
Character Design Rating: 2/10
Story Rating: 0/10
Protagonist Rating: 1/10
Game Quality: Low
Overall Rating: 1/10
Rating Comments: Okay, I was super generous with that Character Design. I would’ve liked to give it a 0/10 because everything was pretty much a fucking copy-paste from other games. No originality, just generic childhood friend settings, tsundere imoutos that I’m sick of, and the typical fetish tags to sell this game to the people who really have too much money to spend on it. Seriously. Character designs are such a mess that subcharacters are more attractive and drew more affection than the heroines themselves, who were sometimes an annoying bitch.
Story officially takes the prize as “Worst Story of 2016”. This is like the 3rd game in 2016 that I’ve played, but trust me on this one; you really can’t get any worse than this. Remember how I said Suzukaze no Melt and Pure x Connect had very little transition with romance? THIS GAME HAD FUCKING NONE. In literally one scene, the heroine confesses and the protagonist goes “Oh yay, I have a girl who would have sex with me”. I’m not even joking here; he gives off the impression of a very solemn, serious protagonist in the beginning of the story, but he’s literally a horny Japanese teenager who’s just up and ready to pump his gene seeds into the heroine.
So the main problem with this game was that it literally took all the conflict of the respective heroine and placed it at the END of the route, rather than in the middle. In essence, you had the following:
Common Route -> Confession/H-scenes -> Conflict -> Resolution -> Ending
Oh man, don’t even get me started on how cringe-worthy the setting of the story was either. A former all-girls school that became a co-ed and is now fused AGAIN with another former all-girl’s school? Did literally several months of planning give you NOTHING ELSE, Parasol? Even a freaking grade schooler would come up with a better scenario than this, not to mention that this is the only thing you’re holding up against possible lawsuits/criticisms for copy-paste storylines
Character Summary: Not even going to try to hide spoilers. Here they are.
“The Bitch” is what I would like to tag this character with, as someone who has a general hatred for males that magically disappears at one point as she falls in love with Sakiomi. Despite seemingly the central heroine, Saori has very little role in the beginning scenes. If at all, her drowning all of a sudden was completely contradictory of how she breaks time records by the end of her route, and how she treats Sakiomi like shit even though he saved her life was enough to get me disgusted.
Her role of a miko was nothing other than to add some extra H-scenes and how she pretty much went from hating Sakiomi to opening her legs to him in a matter of days was completely unnatural. Simply put, very poor character design.
“Ojousama” is the best word to describe this character, your typical former “Student Council President” heroine who is absolutely infatuated with the protagonist from the beginning of the story, which is shown to be just because he mentioned how she had cherry blossoms in her hair (dead serious; Sae explicitly says this is why she fell in love with him).
Other than this, as well as being the “jealousy”character when Sakiomi is in company of another girl, Sae had nothing else. In fact, she’s shown to hold feelings for Sakiomi, and said feeling just dissipate in a different heroine’s route.
Her route involves two things; how her family is trying to set her up in an arranged marriage, and how the swimming club doesn’t have enough funds to pay for a field-trip. Be my guest and guess; see how obvious the endings are going to be.
Ami’s actually a 3rd year despite her small size (lolis ftw), and filled to the brim with energy, like a kid
In the story though, she comes out and flat out says she “fell in love at first sight” when Sakiomi saves Saori from drowning and pretty much almost immediately confesses again at the route split.
Corresponding to her personality, Ami thinks swimming is supposed to be fun, which goes against Saori’s mindset of taking after-school activities seriously. This conflict is maintained pretty much throughout the game, except that in her own route, Ami receives a change of heart with her desire to send Saori into the official competitions.
However, Saori gets injured while cleaning up before a competition and Ami blames herself for it as the club leader like an emo kid for pretty much no reason. With no one to take her part, Ami takes over the competition and magically wins 1st place. I’m so fucking done.
So this is your literal “childhood friend who wasn’t interested in you suddenly finding you insanely attractive” route. I guess it was at least less painful for me to read since the two characters do have that brief transition where there’s hesitation to further their relationship, but again it’s so brief that my cup ramen finished cooking before it was over.
Any other questions?
Tsundere Imouto. Must I say more? I’ve seen too much of this and frankly, I hate it so much that I honestly didn’t have good impressions on Tomoe. Turns out, this girl who treats her brother like shit (although I don’t blame her), was also in love with him the entire time, and that makes perfect fucking sense. In her route, this is shown as Tomoe displaying more “jealousy” than even Sae.
This all gets overturned when Tomoe falls ill and Sakiomi takes care of her. Apparently, this was enough to change the girl’s attitude from “My older brother is annoying” to “I love my older brother so much I want to have sex with him”.
The weird thing is, this is the only route where it’s hinted that both Mio and Sae “suppress their feelings” for Sakiomi. This scene is also too brief, which make it lack the impact that I would’ve wanted it to have.
Sexual Content: Moderately High
Comments: Just… don’t. This game really hurts your brain
Affection for the Characters: Do you seriously need to ask?
CG Score: 3/10. Loli artwork is nice, but too many HCGs and too little normal CGs.
Music Score: 5/10. Decent enough music, although I’m pretty sure some tracks were re-used (aka, resynthesized) from previous games. They also need to stop abusing Chata for all their songs.
Addictiveness: I’d rather cut off my limbs than to play this again.
Conclusion: You have a good game, then you have a stupendously horrible piece of shit that’s not even worthy of being called a nukige. Parasol failed first to create a decent romance element, but then also failed by pretty much sticking in H-scenes randomly (as well as being too early), then tried to cover everything up with a poor conflict that’s extremely generic and lacking originality.
In short, this game is only for those who like to fap to lolis and should be kept that way. In no way should this game be used for anything outside of this.
==Tags are not added due to writer’s mental pain and frustration at this title==
Now that I’ve completely trashed this game, let’s move onto the next!